Going fishing tonight after work.  I am so happy to be getting away.  Its been a very busy week, work has been crazy over the past few weeks and getting busier as the month will progress, from now till the end of June will be a rush.  I need some time with my hubby and some time to decompress and sit in a boat with my best friends and hope to catch the first fish.  (i usually do!)

How have I been doing?  Well; better this week.  I am feeling a little more stable.  It comes and goes.  Still another two weeks till I see the Doctor and we discuss what the tests are saying.  The transition from winter cloths to spring/summer has been hard.  I eat very little but I am not losing weight and my wardrobe isn’t fitting, the up in medication has packed on another 10lbs and that in its self is enough to make someone depressed.  Shopping for something that fits has been difficult.  I have always been very vain.  I am not sure why.  It’s not that I am proud, I am just very self conscious of how I look.  I have always felt that I never quiet fit in, and have over compensated by trying to look good.  ( Boy does that sentence look vainly pathetic.)   The weight causes other issues and leads to other situations, I am not ready to relay to my readers at this point.  This week is better than last week.  I am less physically destructive and the pain I carry inside has lessened, so I can look around it.

Two weekends ago I was in one of my favorite places – sitting around my friends fire pit, with pain filled anxiety .  I was with the ones I love and I couldn’t bring it down.  Last weekend by fluke I ended up back in the same place, I was relaxed, calm and content.   This weekend I think I will be ok– I hope I will be ok, but I am sure it will be fine.  Looking forward to haveing  time off and relax and enjoy some good friends, food and vino.

So till next time……Gone Fishing…….