Well here we are another week. The weather has been nice – sunny – and mild which helps boost the mood, and I have been sleeping more. Not quality but more. I get more than 2 or 3 hours, but I toss a lot and I don’t wake up feeling refreshed. That would be great! I know as women we are always tired. Kids, work, house, keeps us on our toes; but I just feel drained. Its takes a lot of effort to drag myself out of bed and as the day goes on, I feel like my skin and muscles are just done for, reless. Sorry I can’t think of a correct word to describe how they feel, maybe numb is a good word. This deep exhaustion can’t be good for me. But there is no rest for the wicked.
I have to go to my Aunts for a 5oth wedding anniversary, My Mom really wants me to be there, so Me and my husband will head that way. It’s over 2 hours away in Clinton, on the nice side its a nice long drive to see the fall colours, on the bad side its a long drive, which kills the day of Sat. At least we don’t leave till noon so I get a little sleep in.
Depression wise, I can’t say I am singing and dancing, I can say it doesn’t have me in its grip so tight this week. That is the best way to put it. A lighter grip.
My Faith? ? I can say that people have been telling me their fears and heartaches lately – I seem to be the one everyone talks to at work, and I can relate to them how God is working in their lives and how he is the one in control. Soemtimes it rolls off the tongue like a prerehursed speech, I walk away feel ing like a hypocrite. I tell them I will pray for them, only to walk away thinking “why do I say that– I hate when people do that to me”–cause 9 times out of 10 its just a comment to imply you care, but a great conversation ender–don’t think I am mean– if you have said it — you sometimes mean it that way. The true christian thing it to is just pray right there and then. But I’ve not done much of that lately myself, and after the last episode I am feeling less like I want to. Every episode seems to take a little more of my faith and confidence. Some days I don’t know what to think. So I don’t think. I push the thoughts that trouble me away and think about things like– watering plants in my garden, laundry, books I would like to read, daydearms or anything else but what begs to be thought of. Maybe its just part of being tired.
till next time…….