Still in the Pits

I have been in some dark places before, I have had the devil ride my back and haunt me.  I have been rushed by forces that have been evil.  I have not been in this position before? My mind is going nuts I have been taking lots of anxiety pills to try to calm the storm.  I don’t remember things.  I can’t remember how many pills I taken today, or how much coffee I have had to drink.  I believe I have everything done at work today- I don’t remember driving home.  I don’t remember words I am about to say and have to picture them before I say them.  I’m slow,  I am anxious and numb.  I am crippled I can’t believe it.  my plan tonight and have been thinking of it all day is to sit on my couch infront of the fire place watch the fire till —–i don’t know when.  I have a funeral to go to tomorrow morning and then back to work I might or might not go back I haven’t thought about it yet. I am trembling from deep with in my heart I don’t know if its regular shakes or drug tremors.  I have only taken one over the recommended dose but I was up early early this morning so being more than 10 hours I am not counting that one.  I only slept 4 hour

I don’t know who I am, I don’t understand what I am writing, I don;t know what I have become.