I have been nagging my husband to death about the lighting in our home.  The bedrooms have no lights in the ceiling, and the family room is the same.  We were at Canadian Tire on Saturday fighting about lights.  He is not destroying the ceiling in the family room for new lights.  He is refusing to put in new lights in his words we don’t need them “why am I being obsessed about it” So we compromised.  I bought 3 standing, up lights and filled the family room with two and one for our bed room.  I also put 100 w light bulbs in them.  It seems to make me feel better that I can see.

At church this morning my pastor was doing the congregation prayers, for those who are ill etc etc…. He said a long prayer about people who suffer from depression, and that they can struggle with seasonal disorders from lack of sun.  I couldn’t believe it.  I have lived in this house for 18 years and I have never been so desperate for light in the house. I have a light in the front room on a timer cause I hate to walk around in a dark house, and in the family room I have white pin lights on a huge fucus tree I have also on a timer.  Up till this year I have never been in a panic about the lighting in the house,  I have never had an issue with this before,  and the more I think about it the more other things make sence.

The first weekend away this summer it was still spring and we went fishing with our best friends.  I was anxious at the beginning of the weekend and I had said several times I was decompressing while we were out and about.  We spent a lot of the days on the boat and I remember breathing deeply and feeling the sun on my face how wonderful it felt.  I have thought about that weekend a lot and wondered why being on the boat and fishing was so wonderful and when I have had  sad times I think about that weekend and how much it ment to me to be there.  I figured that it was because I fished with my Dad and I was remembering being with him. I thought it was because I was away from the kids and it was nice to be away.  I love my best friends so much I figured it was quality time with them.  Or it was all of the above, which I am sure it was too, but maybe it was the sunlight.

This is a double edge sword for me.  I have always loved the sun, and now it seems to be even more important to me.  This is a good realisation and my husband is happy I am not nagging him about the lights anymore, now that I understand why it was bothering me so much.   On the other hand — Great this is something I have to be aware of, another  thing to think about.  Knowledge is power, understanding is enlightening, another thing to think about is stressful.

Some days that is the way it goes

till next time…………………………………..