Mid week and getting prepared to take my Mom for her eye operation. In some ways I am looking forward to being with her. The men and my daughter will have to adjust– Oh boy that may be hard– I expect to be doing a lot of cleaning when I get back. It will give us a chance to talk about stuff, and me of course. Still feeling off, jittery. I was to pray Monday night with my best friend, my pastor and husband. I cancelled saying I was too busy. I do have a busy week, but I couldn’t face talking about what is happening. Some of that is paranoia. I know that they would not think less of me, but I think less of myself. I know my pastor may read this – I have treated him disrespectfully, lying is never an option, especially to a friend. I have been hiding at home, sleeping when I can. Yesterday was a professionally development day. I attended a meeting in the morning – and booked off the afternoon to go home, grocery shop, hour nap.
There was no reason to cancel, except for my mind, paranoid about what people think, or more if they are tired of me. I thought I had got over some of this paranoia but no. I have been reading the last few blogs and I have returned to some of my old ways. Another observation for my next dr. apt in a few weeks.
I am at a loss of what to say next– will write more when I return from my Mothers
till next time…………………….