70 X 7

Family can stress the heck out of you.  I am sorry but I just have to vent this.  I try to do so much for my family.  My brother is blind and I try to make up the difference.  If I can’t do i,t my Mom does, or my husband does.  Lately my brother has been a total ass, for lack of a better word.  My Mom has no one to help her — it’s all me.  One brother is blind, one doesn’t talk to her ( another long stupid story ) So it’s up to me. When she moved off the farm it was me, who lugged everything off the farm — spent most of the summer at either the Stratford or Mitchell dump.  I did it all.  I am not looking for pity or am I whining,  I would gladly do anything for my Mom.  I love her to pieces.  But I can not stand the treatment from my brother I have had lately.  One doesn’t talk to me, and today I wish the other one would not either.

What ever happened to common curtsey.  What ever happened to getting along, and mellowing out as you get older.  What ever happened to families helping each other out and being there for one another.  Brothers in my family the older they get the crankier they get and it just infuriates me.

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant  Matthew 18 21-22

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seven times seventy.[a]

Today I feel like I am at 80 X 7 . I feel like all I do is forgive my family.  I guess my pride wants some recognition that I have been done wrong.  That I am hurt, and they did it and not that they will think they are wrong.

Family — it can drive you insane– which is funny when you think about it– as this is a blog about depression…. really it is kinda—-

I am just hurt, and angry and I know I will have to forgive– I am just not ready yet.

till next time………………


2 thoughts on “70 X 7

  1. Angela says:

    I am ashamed to say that tonight is the first time I have read your blog, even though you told me about it in the summer. At least, I think it was this past summer but it could well have been summer 2011. I am afraid that grief and it’s residues makes me more self-involved than ever and it has taken me this long to make my journey to this beautiful page. You are doing absolutely the best thing here by processing your thoughts and feelings, your doubts and victories. It is so interesting to me that you have shared this passage about forgiveness – another friend and I have recently been talking about forgiveness and this particular passage. I have so much I want to write but I am not sure of the protocol of this thing!

    • Angela thank you for your words. They mean so much to me I can’t tell you. Forgiveness is hard, especially when we feel hurt, and the forgive-ee doesn’t see why they need to be forgiven. I am always brought back to a bible study long ago When a elder member of the study said – I don’t know why you are angry with your family, for they do not know what they do” God reminded me of that this morning in church.

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